Adventure and Atrocity

A Wounded Heart and a Rough Road

Not too long after I had given my heart to Christ, I felt a gentle tug on my heart—a call to minister to the needs of others. What started out as praying for and listening to others turned into a calling to serve others in a greater capacity!

From talking with various people, I heard of a Bible College in a faraway city. So, after praying about it, I packed up and headed off to learn all I could about the Bible and becoming a minister.

Unfortunately, I only lasted seven months in this Bible College. Why? Simple. My girlfriend was Caucasian, and as a man of color, our dating was a no-no!

Over time, the Bible College staff put so much pressure on the girl and her family that she finally caved in. She met with me and told me it wasn't God's will for us to be together!

Here's an interesting thing that happened in all of this:

1. A few weeks before my girlfriend told me it was over, I had a dream about her. I dreamt that she was exiting her dormitory and walking toward the church building. And—she was pregnant! Of course, both of us were virgins, and I knew it wasn't my child. So, something was up.
2. Fast-forward a few weeks and she tells me our relationship is over.
3. Fast-forward several months and an old friend from the Bible College came to visit me at the cockroach-infested, almost condemned, building where I was living. He told me my ex-girlfriend had been spending a lot of time with another guy long before she and I had broken up.
4. Fast-forward a few years and the ex-girlfriend had married this same guy.
5. Fast-forward a couple more years and she was pregnant with their first child.

Strange? Prophetic? Coincidence? I don't know. I just know that I had that dream shortly before I got kicked to the curb by the woman I loved.

Moving on… Shortly after my girlfriend had had the talk with me about breaking up, I got called into the vice president's office. He told me I was unwelcome at their Bible College and that I needed to vacate the premises by 5pm. So, I packed up all of my gear and left —with a huge hole in my heart and a humungous chip on my shoulder!

A few days later, I was laid off from one of my jobs. A couple of days after that, I was laid off from my second job. As a result, I headed back to my hometown to talk with my parents about what had happened. Unfortunately for me, both parents ended up kicking me out and disowning me — with a warning and some really harsh words!

I tried hard to get a job in my hometown, but the city was in a recession. So, I ended up selling my car and taking a Greyhound bus to a city where I knew I could get a job.

With very little money in my pocket and not knowing how long it would take me to get a job, I ended up living on the streets of large, Midwestern City, in late winter, for two weeks. Finally, I got a job and found a room for rent—for $50 a month—in what turned out to be a cockroach-infested brothel.

For the next few weeks, I wrote nineteen letters to family and friends in my hometown to ask for help. All of them went unanswered. Later, I found out my parents had instructed many people NOT to help me.

Where this adventurous and atrocious chapter ended

As a result of all I had experienced since my new birth experience, I was now in a really bad place—mentally and emotionally! I was angry, bitter, resentful, and even hostile. I was also in the beginning stages of developing an unforgiving spirit/attitude—something I would carry with me for a couple of decades (because I was stubborn). Long story short, I left church and had very little contact with Christians.

What did I learn from all of this?

1. I learned a lot about "Christians." All Christians, myself included, are flawed human beings—even after coming to Christ! All Christians struggle with sin—even after coming to Christ!
2. I learned a lot about "Church Culture." Each denomination has its own culture. I discovered I liked certain cultures and disliked others. The cultures I disliked weren't necessarily bad or wrong—they just weren't to my liking.
3. I learned a lot about my own strengths and weaknesses. One strength: I got hustle! One weakness: I was naive, unpolished, misinformed, crude and self-centered!
4. Eventually, when I made my way back to Christ, I discovered my gifting and calling: Because of all I had experienced, I discovered my Lord wanted me to work with (and minister to) people who've been hurt or harmed by people who called themselves "Christian"—and who were angry, bitter, resentful, hostile, and unforgiving.

In the next section, I'll share with you some of the personal experiences the Lord used to draw me back to Him.

If you have questions or comments, email me here.

In His Name,

Roy